Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize