Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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