Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
