Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
ttyl tear gas
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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