i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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