i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
