She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
