I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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