The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
