there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize