I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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