Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize