she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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