I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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