Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
