Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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