I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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