Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
