Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
