U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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