Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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