My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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