in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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