You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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