do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
