Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
