This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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