get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
