her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
