She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
