"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
