I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
