I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
