He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
