marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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