new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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