I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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