I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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