when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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