ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
