Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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