The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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