My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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