you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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