Porn is love you can see.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
