Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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