I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
