no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
