This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize