paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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