I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
