What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
