You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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