super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
