Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
