Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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