Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
